Friends Come in All Sizes
by Haileigh van Gelder
Summary: Based on the characters of "Death to Smoochy". Please R/R! Thanks!


Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. They are copyrighted by whatever film company owns "Death to Smoochy".  
  
Bottle of Pancake Syrup with Legs  
  
Sheldon Mopes was enthralled with Rickets the Hippo as a young child. Every day, at 11:05, he'd glue himself to the staticy television screen to catch his favorite hippo dancing the Clunky Wunky. He would even join in, doing the movements and dancing around his living room. His mother, being the good-hearted woman that she was, took young Sheldon to see Rickets in concert when he came to Atlanta on his Happy Fun tour. It was the happiest day of the pre-schooler's life.   
  
Soon enough, the children around him outgrew Rickets. They traded in the Clunky Wunky for the moshing of heavy-paced punk music. Sheldon was a teenager during the era of mohawks put together with Elmer's glue and ripped jeans and bright colors. He longed for those days when Rickets had shown his classmates happiness, love, and the goodness of being unique.   
  
After college, Sheldon finally realized what he really wanted to do for a living. He wanted to be the next Rickets the Hippo, except of course, he would be a rhino. Smoochy the Rhino had integrity. His father told him to hold fast to his dreams. "Son, you can't change the world, but you can make a dent," his father spoke those words after Sheldon told him his life long quest.   
  
  
  
Paranoid Lunatic with a Heart of Gold  
  
Randolph McGovern was born into a highly religious family. His mother and father were strict Irish Catholics who attended church every Sunday, no matter what circumstance. Mr. McGovern was a deacon and Mrs. McGovern held parish bakesales. Randolph was one of five children, all who attended Catholic school.   
  
As a side activity, Randolph started tap dance lessons. He was actually quite good at it, and continued it throughout high school. Naturally, this activity gained him many laughs throughout the years. He was teased daily. His only friend was a girl named Marla who attended tap dancing classes with him. One day, Marla found real friends and Randy was left alone.   
  
Graduation inched closer for Randolph and he had decided that he was going to enter the Jesuits and study to become an ordained priest. Sadly, the Bishop never called upon Randy to become a priest and he decided to drop out of the ministry.   
  
Randolph was doing dance work on Broadway when he met Norah Wells. She was a beautiful young intern for KidNet, a company that produced childrens' television. Norah pulled a few strings for Randolph at KidNet and she was able to get him a job on television.  
  
He became Rainbow Randolph - the loveable, androgynous, tap-dancing lunatic.   
  
Sugar and Plastic  
  
Norah Wells was a Rickets the Hippo fanatic. From a young age, that hippo had influenced her into working in childrens' television. She wanted to be able to make children smile the way Rickets had made her smile. Having been born into a Catholic family, Norah received Holy   
  
Communion in sixth grade. At her Holy Communion, she preformed the Clunky Wunky dance to represent the love that Rickets had showed her.  
  
Norah became an intern at KidNet after college. She worked her way up the corporate ladder to VP of Development. She became romantically involved with many kiddy hosts. Jingle Jackson, Rainbow Randolph, Wally the Whale, Squaredance Danny, and Rocky the Raccoon. She broke one heart after another.   
  
Norah Wells eventually became cynical from all the backstabbing that was going on around her at KidNet. She had forgotten what happiness was ... until, of course, she watched Rickets on tape.   
  
Fried Beans  
  
Lawrence Dunn came from an Irish family. His parents were hardworking immigrants who had worked their fingers to the bone to make sure he received a good education and plenty to eat. He found his passion at a young age. Boxing became his favorite sport.   
  
Lawrence decided to become a professional boxer. He took the name "Spinner" to glorify his career. Spinner Dunn finished his boxing career at the age of 38 with a record of 81 and 59 when his doctor told him he had already lost too many braincells as a result of the constant blows to his head.  
  
Spinner Dunn opened a night club, with the "help" of his cousin Tommy Cotter.  
  
Riverdance Ass  
  
Tommy Cotter was the ring leader of a New York City Irish mob gang. Her and her boys (Jake, Joe, John, and Connor) instilled fear into the hearts of men all over the city. She was born in Dublin, Ireland and immigrated to the United States to be with family. Her cousin, Spinner Dunn, was a famous American boxer.  
  
Tommy opened a nigh club and Spinner became the mascot of the club, constanly appearing in the bar and lounge to speak with the guests. He had the "sweet disposition of a five year old" and Tommy knew that. She loved Spinner nonetheless.   
  
I Feel Pretty  
  
Standing at 3 feet seven inches, he wasn't exactly ... normal. Angelo Pike was a dwarf. His passion had always been Broadway shows. His favorites were "Cabaret" and "West Side Story". In high school, he had dreams of a being a Broadway singer. However, he never quite made the parts he so desperately wanted in the plays. He usually settled for the mixed choir. His voice was sensational, but his body wasn't. He hated himself for it.   
  
His mother scheduled a trip to a convention. She didn't reveal what the convention was for until they were in Massachusetts. It was a convention for little people. Angelo made many friends and learned that his height had nothing to do with who he was.   
  
Angelo graduated high school and looked for work where his voice would be heard. He was given a small part on a television show called Rainbow Randolph, where he played a Crinkle Kid. The Crinkle Kids were supposed to the midgets that inhabited Rainbow Land.  
  
  
  
Cleaned Up Half the Poppies in Asia  
  
Buggy Ding Dong suffered from severe narcolepsy all his life. He would fall asleep in the subway, on park benches, in art musems, and at school.  
  
Buggy Ding Dong was a host for a children's show. Buggy Ding Dong was the operator of a magic train that could take children anywhere they wanted to go.  
  
Unfourtantely, Buggy Ding Dong took his own magic ride on the H Train. He experienced the joys of Turkish Blackmeal Heroin at the age of twenty-nine. His show was cancelled when his heroin scandal became public. Buggy Ding Dong was replaced by The Rainbow Randolph Show.   
  
Brooklyn Mouth  
  
Marion Frank Stokes was born in Brooklyn. His parents were distant, causing him to form a ruthless interior. He got used to not having the love around him like most children. His father worked very hard to support the family, while his mother was a recovering alcoholic. Of course, her days and tequlia-soaked nights were filled with visits to local bars.  
  
He dropped his first name and went by his middle name. Frank graduated from a New York City public high school. He applied to many jobs. KidNet was the one to offer him the most money for his service. Frank Stokes worked his way up the corporate ladder, like Norah Wells, and held a cushy President of Development position at KidNet. 


End file.
